Imposter syndrome is REAL. And for many small business owners, it’s a daily threat to growth.
– “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
– “I’ve been lucky so far, but what happens when that luck runs out?”
– “My employees are counting on me, and I’m letting them all down.”
The amygdala is the tiny almond-shaped piece of your brain that functions as your alert system. It controls the release of certain hormones that kick your body into fight, flight, or freeze mode. You know that irrational fear of heights that you feel when you move to the second step of a step stool? That’s your amygdala reminding you that falling from high places can kill you. That uncomfortable muscle tension you feel across your upper body when you’re stuck in a conversation with a close talker? The amygdala sees their bad habit as aggression and is preparing your body for a fight. The stage fright you feel before a client presentation is the caveman brain remembering that you may be in trouble if the entire tribe is staring at you and there’s nowhere to escape. All of this seems ridiculous now, but these warnings serve an important purpose: to keep you safe and alive.
Our daily lives aren’t nearly as dangerous as they used to be but, unfortunately, we can’t disable the alarm system in our brain. We can, however, recognize false alarms and react accordingly. Think of it like the smoke detector that goes off while you’re cooking. I’m not a great cook, so there have been plenty of times I’ve been in the kitchen and created a little too much smoke from whatever is on the stove. So there I am, minding my own business and “slightly charring” my dinner when the smoke detector starts screaming at me. Its intentions are good but the act is unwarranted. I know what I’m burning in the kitchen and it’s all under control. The instant reaction is to wave the smoke away and think about ordering takeout. This is your amygdala in a nutshell (Get it? It’s shaped like an almond… never mind, it’s a bad dad joke).
If you want to overcome that smoke detector in your head, you need to understand it and then assign it to its proper role in your life.
These thoughts feel like desperate warnings with all of the lights and sirens blaring in your head but in reality, they’re just notifications that require an immediate response. Just like waving the smoke away, you have to react to the blaring alarm in a way that makes it stop screaming. The best way to counteract that negative emotion is to respond to it with the memory of a positive experience. Think back to who you were before you started your business. You knew a lot less, had less experience and, let’s be honest, there’s a good chance you didn’t really know what you were doing. But you learned because you were determined to step out of that comfort zone to grow. When you hear that little voice saying you’re not qualified, take a moment to remind yourself of what you’ve already accomplished.
You may not have been in this exact situation that’s causing the imposter syndrome to kick in, but more than likely you’ve gone through something similar AND YOU SURVIVED. You probably even look back on that, patting yourself on the back for how you handled everything and what you accomplished. This is the good experience you want to remember.
Now comes the hard part: confront the imposter syndrome before it happens. It’s important for you to have a preloaded experience to balance out the fear when it hits you unexpectedly. It’s like muscle memory for athletes. Train now so you automatically react when it counts. Remember each negative statement from that little voice in your head, and then think back to a similar situation when you not only survived, you THRIVED. Give yourself at least 30 seconds (preferably up to 2 minutes) to enjoy that feeling of accomplishment. By doing this, you’re actually udpating your neuropathways to go to that feeling as an automatic response to the fear. Get comfortable doing this on a regular basis. The more you train, the more you win.
You may not know exactly what you’re supposed to do next, but now you know enough to move forward.
– “I don’t know what I’m doing… yet. But I can learn just like I did when ______.”
– “I haven’t been lucky, I’ve been persistent. I’ve already accomplished _____________.”
– “When I’m transparent and available, my employees and I can work through this as a team. We did great that time that ____________ happened.”
– “I made it this far by relying on past experiences to make better decisions.”
Take some time to be uncomfortable and analyze the thoughts associated with your imposter syndrome. Find your positive response and spend two minutes reinforcing that response with memories of past successes. Memorize your response (and that good feeling when you remember what you’ve already accomplished) so you’ll be ready the next time your caveman brain decides to give you a warning shot.